JOKES Aside

A wife and her husband had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children’s room.

Rushing in, they found little Billy crying hysterically. He had been playing with a penny and had accidentally swallowed it and was sure he was going to die.

No amount of talking could change his mind.
Trying to calm him, the dad snuck another penny out that he happened to have in his pocket, and pretended to pull it from Billy’s ear.
Billy suddenly had a huge smile on his face, he was now totally delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully,
“Do it again, Dad ! ”

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What Gender is a Computer ?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.

Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?”

The teacher wasn’t certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of all the women in the class, and the other, of all the men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because…..

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clue less.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because…..

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

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A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”

His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

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The Sunday School teacher was describing that when Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt, when Bobby interrupted. “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced, “and she turned into a telephone pole.”

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A children’s church minister was talking to his congregation about the 23rd Psalm. He told the children about sheep, that they weren’t very smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd’s job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance.

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, “If you are the sheep then who is your shepherd?” He was pretty obviously indicating himself.

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then one of the children said, “Jesus ! Jesus is the shepherd !”

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the child,

“Ahh, ahh, well then……… who am I?”

The youngster frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, “You must be the sheep dog………….”

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A pastor’s wife was preparing pancakes for her young sons. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their Mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, “Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.” The oldest boy turned to his younger brother and said, “You be Jesus.”
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God bless the children they have a way of teaching/showing us how we realy are as man kind. .
Thank you God. .

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